A Modest Proposal
Swift’s was for Ireland. This one is for Greece.

   There can’t be many who are unaware of the deep hole into which Greece has fallen. They owe many billions of Euros to a number of European banks and financial establishments; debts and enforced austerity have seriously shrunk their economy, with unemployment high and the ATMs empty. Negotiations have not improved Greece’s lot; at best, the outcome to this point in the middle of July, just has not made it worse. The Germans, sternly righteous, have been particularly rigorous in their demands.

   But Germany may also be able to provide the solution for Greece, in such a way that the country will be pulled back to its feet. As by far the richest European nation they could afford to extend the helping hand that I propose.

   Among the contributions to the reduction of its debt that Greece is told to make is to sell properties and other assets owned by the state. Of course, I have no idea what these possessions are or how much they may be worth. Nothing I have read does more than sweepingly refer to assets. But I can think of some, such as the contents of the National Archeological Museum in Athens and other museums in the capital and others dotted around the country. Since so many of the objects to be found in these establishments are unique, many of them should fetch quite a decent price. If Francis Bacon’s studies of Lucian Freud can sell for $142+ million, a 5^th-century BCE marble bust should also do pretty well. The amounts would add up.

   Yet this scheme has serious flaws. If Greek museums are denuded in this way, the entire country will be less attractive to tourists, seriously reducing a major source of income for Greece. In effect it would mean that a one-time contribution toward reducing the country’s debt would reduce the country's income, possibly forever. Worse, buyers around the world would only pick a small fraction of the available items for sale and, of course, the best of them. The result for the tourist industry would still be devastating, while the cost to the state of maintaining the museums would remain the same. Not a good deal for the Greeks.

   I can think, however, of a move that Greece might make that would bring in a truly huge sum of Euros with very little downside for them. Sell the Parthenon to Germany.         
   To begin with, the worst of downsides is not possible. Unlike the Elgin Marbles’ disappearance from the Acropolis to London, the Parthenon could not be shipped to Berlin. No matter how carefully done, disassembling the building and putting it together elsewhere would be so serious a threat to its health that no one in his right mind would attempt it. And just to ensure against a purchaser not in his right mind, leaving the building where it is should be part of the sales contract.

   Then, you ask, if they can’t take it home, why should Germany wish to purchase the Parthenon? To start with a subsidiary point, the Germans would get something for sure for the billions they have loaned to Greece—which is in no way a sure result of the recent agreement. But what, actually, would they get? The title, ownership, of what is arguably the most important and the most famous building on the globe! For the country that has (nearly) everything, that would make them unico as the Italians say, senza dubbio. And if these bragging rights are really priceless, they are surely worth a very large bucket full of Euros.

   Nor would things have to remain at this symbolic level. Right now, unless things have changed since I last visited the Acropolis, there is no charge to go up there and, gazing, to slowly circumnavigate the Parthenon. The new owners can change that and charge a fee—high enough to be meaningful, but not so high so as to scare off visitors. Where the Greeks—though mostly not directly the state itself—profit from the existence of the Parthenon (which will be there as it has been for a very long time) is in the facilities that serve the tourists: hotels, restaurants, and shops of every which kind. The change in ownership of the Parthenon would not change this source of income.

   For Germany and Greece, this sale of the Parthenon is a clear win-win transaction. The European and Greek officials who have been wrangling about the Greek debt and the Greek economy are no doubt smart and highly educated. One wishes they were also imaginative.    

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